(Warning, this is a from the heart, no holds barred, feel like I am called to share this kind of post.) It amazes me. No matter what I claim or how faithful I try to be, I still mess up.  Not that I am aiming to be perfect, but in this case I sure think I could have done better.  It started like this… This past Sunday Sofie proclaimed that she wanted to be in big church with us.  My immediate reaction is why don’t you want to go to kid’s church? I want to be with you she says. Although this should have made me feel all warm and fuzzy, it made me panic instead. I reacted based on past experiences.  I started laying down the law and telling her how she better behave and I am not dealing with her if she doesn’t.  We got to church and we were sitting and waiting. The hand biting started as well as other behaviors that were questionable. I actually leaned over to Scott and began to complain about how this is my time with God and she better not ruin it!  Definitely not a shining MOM moment! Then the music started and we all stood up. Before I knew it Sofie was standing right next to me. She was brushed up against my arm!  I was tempted to reach out and touch her, but I feared this would upset the apple cart. So, I just looked at her and smiled.  She then did something so rare.  She wrapped her arms around my waist. I in turn put my arms around her.  We stayed that way for the entire song. I rested my head on hers and sang away. She let me.  When the music stopped she looked up at me with such love in her eyes, all I could do was tear up. I was so embarrassed. How could I claim to be faithful and trust God and then react the way I did to my child? Right then and there I asked for forgiveness.  I also recalled a message we had gotten in our Mom to Mom group that week at church. It had brought me so much peace.  I prayed for strength and faithfulness.  Instead of guilt and shame a wave of gratitude washed over me.  I am thankful for knowing God’s grace, forgiveness and unconditional love. I was also reminded that with God all things are POSSIBLE! Even a moment in church that I was dreading, turned out to be a gift.  A gift I would have missed. Thank you God for delivering that message through my always smiling, sometimes nose picking, hand biting, tantrum throwing autistic 11 year old that YES! Through YOU all things are possible. It is in these small moments I am reminded that YOU keep your promises.  All I have to do is remain faithful. After those few precious moments, that I wanted to freeze, things pretty much went back to normal.  The rest of the service she grabbed all of the papers and envelopes and wrote on them. She sat on the floor facing the people behind us, picked her nose, refused to blow it even after I offered her a napkin.  Instead of being embarrassed and frustrated, I was trying to be gentle and loving just like my Heavenly Father is with me when I embarrass him. Which I am pretty sure I easily did earlier that morning. Really I am sure I do on a daily basis.  But he doesn’t see that. He sees through to my heart. He knows I am trying to remain faithful while He does His work. Come to think of it, it’s really nice that I don’t have to play God. That all I have to do is TRUST HIM! For that I am ever so grateful.  Thanks for letting me share. Until Next Time- Capture Life! Sarita